There Will Be Blood

I am a sinner.
I am a sinner.
I am a sinner.
I am sorry lord.
I want the blood.
I have abandoned my blog.
I will never backslide.
I was lost but now i'm found.
...I've abandoned my blog.
I'VE ABANDONED MY BLOG!
I'VE ABONDONED MY BLOG!
I'VE ABONDONED MY BLOG!

Question for you to fill out.

I'm bored. Answer me these questions please.

Who are you?

Why are you reading this?

What's your class?

What level art thou?

What is thy quest?

Hast thou slain the dragonlord?

Pizza withheld, what food doth thou desire most?

If thou hadst not but twig and stone, what wouldst thou doest if confronted by Urgon the mighty troll king?

What art thine feelings concerning love?

Wouldst thou tell me a tale?

venipuncture

I've been contemplating becoming a phlebotomist for a while now.

and... i must say...

The idea of getting to stab people with needles is becoming increasingly appealing.

very much so.

Interactive Blog Session - 1a

Alright, let's start with your comments.

Trisha -
'i am interested in in team blogging.
don't you think you should give some options for me to choose from? thats the first thing i think you should do with your life: pick some options.'

My response: I didn't give any options for you to choose from because i didn't want you to make your comments based on my own thoughts of what i should do. I wanted to hear your opinions of what i should do first before telling what i think i should do. However... that is what life boils down to sometimes. Listing your options, then deciding where to go from there.

Ryan-
'Trisha you stay out of this. Sorry brandon now i've gotta go take a few deap breaths to calm down, she ruined my concentration.'

Ryan-
'Ok, i've calmed down, Trisha i'm sorry i blew up like that.... you can post. Brandon get a job.'

My response: Trisha, stop getting in everybody's business all the time.
Jobs. That was essentially the root of my question. "What should i do with my life?" The first obvious step is to get a job. However, that has recently become a more difficult decision for me because i've increased my own options. Some of those options have more long term impact than i'm used to. Some of those options affect other decisions i thought i'd made.

Anyways...

For now, i'm done with interactive blog sessions. I just don't feel like keeping this going. However, i'm starting a team blog. I'd like to continue this "discussion" there. I'll contact you individually about being part of the team blog, and about what i would like the purpose of that team blog to be.

Interactive Blog Session - 1

Welcome to interactive blogging.

How it works:
I will post something, typically a problem. You will then comment as you see fit. Whether it's suggestions, ideas, criticisms, whatever. I will then take your comment, post it with my related commentary and/or response in a new post. The series of posts will continue until i assign a new topic.

This would work best in a team blog format. If you have interest in creating a super awesome team blog of ultimate friendship and fun for everyone, let me know.

Until then... here's topic #1 for interactive blogging.

What should i do with my life?

Cough

Can't sleep. Keep coughing. Coughing stops, nose is plugged. Can't breath. Coughing continues.

I've come to a decision. Instead of coughing into my elbow in public like i normally do, i will now be coughing into a harmonica. My bronchial suffering shall be music for the masses.

One of my horoscopes for today says:
Gemini, you're nearing the end of a long road, and for once, the future is wide open. .

Go to hell horoscope writer.
I cough on you.

Delegated Abstract Statements

Here's some abstract statements i have imagined different people i know saying to me. I'm not gonna say who goes with what.

"I'm a piece of cardboard floating in the ocean."

"I'm a dead pixel in the lower left quadrant of your computer monitor."

"I'm a mostly empty bottle in the backseat of your car."

"I'm a howling wolf printed on a used t-shirt."

"I'm a 1989 quarter on the floor of an arcade."

"I'm a supporting character in a recent George Lucas film."

"I'm a fortune telling machine at the amusement park."

"I'm leftover Asian food in the fridge."

"I'm a Looney Tunes tattoo on a middle aged man."

"I'm the last clear/white bear in your bag of gummy bears."

Consider yourselves objectified.

Old Rubbish

I wrote this first poem around December 2007 to (i think) my friend Kristin as some sort of weird joke. As you'll notice, the title of my blog came from this poem. My main goal was just to write a poem about a lonely old sailor who misses the sea. This is what came out. You can pretend there's deeper meaning if you want.

23 years. with minimal souvenirs. the scars. the intangible fading recollections. where once there was affection there is now longing. to feel her timber sway beneath once more. to feel the crisp breeze i adore. like a lover's kiss. so sincere. even now she calls to me. even here. locked away in a prison of land. i can still feel her hand reaching out. of nothing more do i dream than to run to her as she calls to me. but as fate has deemed. i left my legs at sea.

Also in December 2007, and also to Kristin... i wrote this second poem. It was late and i couldn't sleep. I wanted to leave her a comment, but couldn't think of anything. So i wrote this and said "Here's some pretentious writing nonsense." As you may have noticed, i don't take my own "poetry/writing" very seriously... at all.

open
seeking motion
with eyes veiled in despair
viewing the blue prints
of an existence on hold
lacking entity
empty
seeking vision
with eyes veiled in grace
viewing the brush strokes
of a journey unfolding
streaming life
align

i have no idea why i wrote poems to my friend Kristin, or why i thought that it was funny to do so. I think maybe i was hoping someone else that knew her, but didn't know me, would read it and think weird thoughts about me. And that was the joke. Me thinking they would take it seriously and think weird things about me. Which was funny to me, because i don't take it seriously. I still do things like that at all the time.

i have a weird sense of humor i guess.

Thoughts

i think i've grown bored of this blog.

My thoughts on various things.

• Tigers: danger cuddle.
  
• Sandwiches: tasty brilliance.
  
• Sleep: comfort therapy.
  
• Girls: overrated necessity. (see also "tigers" and "lists")
  
• Cantaloupe: delectable delight.
• Lists: conditional gratification.
  
• Swords: (see "girls")
  
• Cameron Diaz: detestable succubus.
  
• Octopi: peculiar piquancy.
  
• Kites: serene mirth.

I'm gonna end on Kites for now. That's a good one.
Perhaps i'll continue this another day.

Entry: 27-c

Why does the snow have to go and ruin my day?
My snare head finally broke yesterday, so i can't even go play the drums.
I don't wanna go buy a new one.

Star Command is the greatest thing ever. I humbly bow before its beauty.
(that won't make any sense to nearly all of you, so just don't worry about it.)

Pauly Shore

I finished reading Mr. Vertigo yesterday. It was good. Think i'm gonna read Post Office next.

I was at a show earlier... there was this hippie dude there... he looked like Pauly Shore. We made many jokes about weazing the juice and what have you. During a band i like, he got up in front of me on the stage to stand. This upset me. I had a great view and he weaseled his way in front of it. (all puns intended) So i asked him to move. I was pretty nice about it at first. Pointed out all the people who couldn't see a thing because of him. He wasn't very nice for a hippie. Got in a bit of an argument about it. Couldn't really hear what he was saying, but i'm pretty sure there was a "chill buuud-dy" somewhere in there. This nice girl next to me joined in. Actually, i kinda dragged her into it, but i apologized to her for doing that later. She was very kind. He finally sat down, and the girl and i felt kinda bad for being mean. So we made amends with the Pauly Shore doppelganger. Peace man! Weaze the juice! Not a very good story, but it was a funny night, and fun.
Oh, i forgot to mention he kept crowing instead of clapping. He may have been one of the lost boys, or maybe he just had too many Mike's Hard Lemonades. And a few Zimas.

You Idiot

Follow me on this.
... and keep in mind i use the term "idiot" loosely... very much so.
Age brings elements of wisdom. That's the control in the experiment of life.
Anyone in their twenties that thinks they're wise is an idiot. Anyone younger than that is automatically an idiot, regardless of what they think. Being 23, i feel quite wise for having realized how wise i'm not at such a young age. It's this very sort of paradox that makes me an idiot. If you look at yourself in your present state as if you're looking back at yourself from the perspective of the future you, you can't help but realize that chances are very high that you are currently looking at an idiot. Realizing this, i can only assume that one day i'll look back on the statement i just made and think that i was an idiot for saying such things. Of course, this is assuming that i will achieve the great accomplishment of continuing to grow as a person until the end of my days. If i do achieve that goal, it's nearly impossible for me to look at myself in my current state without thinking that i'm probably an idiot. To make matters worse, while i might think i understand that i'm an idiot right now, in reality, i won't know how much of an idiot i am and why until some time has passed and it's too late. In all fairness, the truth is that i'm going to spend most of my life believing i'm not an idiot at the time. Which perhaps only makes me that much more of a fool. Not that i really feel like i'm an idiot, but if i compare myself with the potential of what i could be in the future, i currently look like an idiot. I feel that this is all true of nearly everyone else as much as it is true of me. So... what is to be gained from this analysis? A few things. First, try to cut other people more slack when they seem like idiots, cause chances are high they're gonna realize how much of in idiot they were in due time. People have the ability to change quite frequently, and for that reason they deserve multiple chances to prove their worth. If you don't give them their chance, you could be denying them greatness. That sort of thing would make you the idiot. However, it's a tricky path. If you give the wrong person too many chances, that sort of thing can also make you an idiot. You have to use your best judgment to determine which people have the aptitude for change, and in what ways. Basically, it's very hard to not be an idiot at some point. Particularly when dealing with people. Which brings me to the last thing, and this is really the key... if you don't at least try to not be an idiot, then you're guaranteed to be an idiot.

So... here's to trying.

(wish me luck, i think i'll need it.)


(...and i'll do the same for you.)

Wienermobile

Last night.

I went to a few free shows in SLC. The sheer lack in population easily betrayed the quality of these shows. Hobo funerals summon larger crowds. My sympathies are with the band members. The night seemed all but lost, when the call came in.
A party. It's better than nothing.
At the governor's mansion? Will i be able to get in? My friends had left for the party before me. I arrive alone to the large fortress surrounded by iron bars. Dogs barking inside. Guard dogs perhaps? How am i to penetrate this stronghold? I see people inside; they appear to be well dressed. I am the street clothed commoner. I am the Mongol horde stripped bare. An outsider, seeking passage to a foreign land whether it is rightfully granted to me or not. The gate opens, a crowd of the privileged are leaving. Their exit is my entry. I've taken the compound, now to breach the building. Dogs. Be calm, they'll smell your fear. Circling the building, inspecting every entry. It appears i've not the touch to open such well made doors. A password perhaps? Dog barking again. It's getting closer. Just keep walking. This dog is chasing me down! Take a page from Steve McQueen, king of cool. Just keep walking. I do not fear you beast... Success. Hello dog, how are you? You're a friendly chap. I appreciate your blind kindness. Back to work. What's this? My friends are inside going up the stairs! At least i'm in the right place. Perhaps if i contact them... wait... another group of privileged? What fortune. They try the door... Not as privileged as you appear. I blend in and become one of them as we make the rounds. The private entrance; i had been to afraid to push the buttons near this door. The privileged do my work for me. At last, entrance granted.
I find my friends. Turns out the party is pretty lame. We leave shortly. My fun had been had.
Then, on our way out... what is this in the street? The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile! Suddenly i'm 9 years old. We hurry over to see if we can look inside. The driver lets us in. It's pretty neat. Then he gives us all Oscar Mayer wiener whistles. Funny how the simplest things can make you so happy. A whistle. A funny vehicle. What a night.
After that chance encounter, there were other parties, some dancing and fun to be had. I mostly just played my whistle all night. I didn't care if it was annoying. I didn't care if the things we were doing weren't that fun. I was 9 years old again, and i was happy. I still am. Now if you'll excuse me, i have to go blow my wiener whistle. (giggle)

Tired Mind

All i wanted when i got home was to go to sleep.

I left my sheets and bedding in the washing machine and forgot about them. As my punishment, i must sit online for an hour, all alone. Yea, though i walk through the valley of the shadow of the internet, i will fear no evil, for Al Gore is with me. Verily, even he who did invent the internet in which i dwell. (yeah... i don't know either, i'm tired alright? chill.) I suppose i could go read or something. I am in the middle of a book... but i'm afraid i'll fall asleep. Then i'll wake up 3 hours later in my clothes with contacts in, on a bed with no bedding. Frankly, i would rather DIE. I would rather DIE! ...not really, it would just be very uncomfortable. If i change my clothes and take out my contacts, then i'll definitely fall asleep.

What a pickle. What a big fat 3 dollar dill. What a classic Vlasic conundrum.

I do neither. I sit. I wait. I wonder.
I wonder, what is this i have walked into?
The answers are elusive, though, it's in their nature to be so.
Yet, this is not quite the same. No, the pursuit has changed.
The chase is daunting. It leaves me wanting. It is ever haunting as it taunts me.
They won't leave me be, these illusions that i see.
I count to 3, then close my eyes.
Now open again to seek my prize.
I am no magician. Do my efforts lack ambition?
What is this condition? Have i lost my volition?
I count to 3, then close my eyes.
Now open again to seek the whys.
They won't leave me be, the questions that i see.
My mind seems flawed when awed by the facade. Someone please give me a prod.
Please wake me from this stasis, for which i perceive no basis.
These things are not quite as they seem, but this is no dream.
I wonder, what is this i have walked out of?
I do nothing. I sit. I wait. I wonder.


That poem, wherever the hell it came from, is an ode to my un-dry sheets.
You know i'm tired when i start writing poetry. What do i know about poetry?
nothing.

Except that my poem looked better the way i had it formatted, but i'm too lazy to do anything about it now.


Sleep, i summon you.

Boulder-Head

So i turned in my Xango application today, and the guy at the desk is on a bluetooth. I didn't notice it at first and he was looking at me and said something quietly. I said "what?" He just stared at me and then said "yeah, hold on one sec." and then stared at me some more. That's when i noticed the bluetooth and realized he wasn't telling me to hold on for a sec. I told him i was just turning in an application. He looked at me as though my face had been painted by double P himself (Pablo Picasso) and he was trying to comprehend it with that tiny jurassic brain of his. I know you're on a bluetooth, but still, you could actually speak to me. Don't just stare at me. Listen guy, you're sitting at the damn reception desk aren't you? Receive me! That's what i should've done. Should have yelled "Receive this!" and then thrown my application right at his ugly bald boulder of a head! That's how you turn in an application. Oh shoot freeeeeek!! What if he reads this!? I knew i shouldn't have put my blog link on my application! wanker. All that aside, i hear he's actually a fairly nice guy.

My point is, i prefer female receptionists. Not because i'm sexist, but because they don't just stare at you when you come in. They actually do their job, and in my experience they're usually pretty nice. Some things just need a woman's touch. There, i said it. ...and i didn't even make any weenur jokes either.

blog: out

all about you

This is another one of those times where i'm just starting to write even though i don't really have anything particular in mind to say. Just a little freestyle sesh. I got a harmonica yesterday... or rather, it was given to me. I've been learning to play it. So far my favorite thing to play is Goodnight Ladies, but that's probably because that's really the only thing i can play well. And honestly, the only reason i really know that song is because of Stella. Mostly... i'm just playing the harmonica to be annoying.

For this next part, i'm gonna write vaguely about people i know. Now, here's the catch. It's gonna be so vague that nobody will know what parts are about who. But i'm really going to have an actual person in mind for each thing i say. Sometimes, i might even be thinking of more than one person. And sometimes, the things i'm saying might be sarcastic. If you're reading this, your job is to figure out if and when i'm writing about you, and in what context. This is going to be fun for you narcissists out there. Here we go.

Hey, you're a wanker. Yes you.

You! I could high five you all day!

I really want you to know how awesome i think you are.

Let's cuddle. You know who you are.

You. Let's be honest, you're kind of a jerk.

Hey, really. Just really... thank you.

Hey, remember when you and i went to the movies? That was a good day.

I'm just not sure what to think of you.

Wow... you certainly are an attractive one.

Honestly, you kind of bug me.

Oh yes! And how could i forget you? You... You are my favorite of all.

And you. Call me, let's hang out.


I'm sure this is super lame to everyone else, but i really enjoyed it. So i'm probably gonna do this again sometime. It really is just me entertaining myself. And i have to admit... i'm really entertained.

I've been listening to the Helio Sequence a lot lately. Anyone else listen to them? They're coming soon. Anyone want to go? They are playing on the 10th at kilby, and on the 20th at the velour. I may even go to both, or i may even be out of town. But, if you're my friend (and if you're reading this, i most likely consider you a friend) let me know if you're going to one or the other. Also, if you're reading this... let me know if i can add your blog to my list of other humans (with blogs).

Dream Recollection: Edition 2

Had a dream last night. Thought i had forgotten it, but i remembered parts of it while brushing my teeth. I'm gonna try and keep this one short cause i don't remember most of it anyways.

I was with my family in this building. Sort of looked like the big open areas of a college campus. The colleges i've been to anyways. Only there wasn't any decorations. Just bare concrete walls. The were tables set up all over and some sort of voting things was going on. People were writing on papers. Wasn't a very sophisticated ballot set up at all. The person in charge of all the papers sitting at the table i was at, was Arnold Schwarzenegger. But it was completely normal for him to be there... in my dream. It was the modern Arnold. He was a little smaller than i think he would really be in person. He was very subdued and casual. Everyone was. Instead of filling out my ballot thing, i was drawing on it. Standing up, hunched over the table, drawing a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger himself right in front of him. He wasn't paying attention though, and i was very glad for that because i screwed up and it didn't look like him. So i turned the drawing into someone else.

There was free taffy in dishes on the table. I took some. I love taffy. We were all done and had to commute someplace. So we left there and went to this strange tunnel. It was a large concrete tunnel. Dimly lit by green and yellowish hued fluorescent lights. It was a very long tunnel, you couldn't see the end. We were strapped in standing up in a single file line, but were facing the side of the tunnel. We weren't supposed to have food or drink cause that was apparently very dangerous. I had taffy in my mouth, and stopped chewing so they wouldn't tell me to spit it out. They didn't notice. Suckers. We start moving, and this thing goes very fast. We were up to 100 mph, and then came into a check point and stopped. The whole thing ran kinda like a roller coaster, but looked much more pedestrian. They checked how we were handling it, and then we started moving again, this time we went up to like 300 mph. I began to understand why we weren't supposed to have food. I was starting to feel sick, but no way was i gonna spit out my delicious taffy. Another checkpoint, and then we went again up to 400 mph, and so on. I never had to spit out my taffy. It was good taffy. I vaguely recall arriving at our destination, but don't remember what it was. That's it. That's the dream. That's all i remember.

I wonder what the dreams i don't remember are like.

the turning point

I thought i had a dentist appointment today, but i was wrong... dead wrong. I will NEVER make that mistake again. It's tomorrow.
So... i'm going to get a job. For real. In 2 weeks time i will be working, guaranteed. It will be a time for celebration, and for me to take people out for food. Change is afoot. Recently i have been dismantled, distressed, and discombobulated. No more will this be the case. There shall be a return to form, despite the fact that my original form was destroyed. A new form is emerging. Better than before. I finally finished dismantling, and can now rebuild.
I've already started. There will be set backs, there always is. This time, i will not be deterred. ...deterred... that's a funny sounding word... deterred... hehe turd... Where was i... I will not be deterred. I've got to keep moving forward. I'm gonna need help. I will need - Motivation. Inspiration. Determination. Hydration. (cause i'm gonna get thirsty.)
I will need support from my cohorts. I'm gonna need sandwiches. Lots and lots of sandwiches. High fives shall flow like the Nile, and on the flip side all the while. There will be robots with f@#ing lasers! Because there always is!! But we will fight those maniacal metal men! We will bring them to their knees, and embrace them as brothers. We will sing and laugh and recite binary together! Metaphorical binary. And before we are finished... we will look back at this day... at what we once were, and we will rejoice for the battles we faced that made us strong. For we will have at last become human... and made that something to be damn proud of! WHO'S WITH ME!!??!!

this winter has worn me thin

A day or so ago i sat here thinking of something to write, but nothing came to mind at the time. I'm doing that again, except this time i felt like i might as well just start writing. Sometimes i feel like i have so much to say... but i don't know where to start or how to word it. It's more like feelings i can't describe swirling around inside me, and i wish i could just draw people into my head to experience the same thing. Then i imagine myself and that person just looking at each other without a word. There doesn't need to be any words. We understand completely. And that's all i want.

I often wonder if my mind just does not work the same as everyone else's.
At all.
I have thoughts that i can't even comprehend. How is that even possible? To have things going on inside your head, that you yourself can't even grasp? They're just out of reach. These are things that need to be expressed in some way, but i don't know how to format them. I think my brain's OS is an old version. I need to update. Hope it's not a hardware issue.

The academy awards were earlier. I was pleased. Some good things won. I don't think i really need to say more on this topic. You either saw them, or you didn't. If you did, there's no point in discussing unless it's in person.


This winter has worn me thin.

"I'm finished."

Dream Recollection: Edition 1

I've already been procrastinating with this thing. Hmm... i think i'm already seeing a pattern emerge. I think the only times i'm going to be writing in this thing are when i'm procrastinating something else. For example, i should be sleeping right now. What to say... hmm... about my blog, in my mind the title is a temporary thing. In fact, a lot of the way things are set up on this page seem temporary to me. I plan on changing a lot, but this will do for now.
Ah yes! I do have a little something to write about. My dream last night. Lately i've been having all soccer related dreams, and i don't know why. But not last night! Last night, i had a good one. I don't remember all of it, but i remember some of it in great detail. Other parts are fuzzy. Forgive the poor writing, i'm tired. Here's what i recall...
It started off with me and a bunch of friends eating dinner on this very long table set up outside on a grassy hill. The table was actually on the curve of the hill with one end near the top and the other sloping down towards the bottom, yet this didn't pose any problems for us... cause it's a dream. It wasn't a lone hill. There was another hill connected to it perpendicularly, and we were near the crest of that hill as well. Somehow i knew that over the crest of that other hill, it sloped down gently a very long way into a valley. The grass on this hill was knee length blowing in the gentle breeze. The sun was just preparing to hide itself behind the mountains in the distance. There were a lot of friends there, though i can't now recall any of the faces. Most of the girls were sitting together at one end of the table, and most of the guys were sitting together more towards the top of the hill. It was a grand feast with all sorts of different foods. My memory begins as the feast was coming to an end. Many of us were feeling fat and happy as we laughed and jested with one another. Some people were still nibbling various tasty treats. I couldn't resist having just a little more to snack on, and asked one of the girls to pass me these tasty biscuit roll things. When i received the basket, i bit into one discovering that it wasn't one of the tasty biscuits i had wanted. I just laughed.
Just then someone came trotting along over our hill and warned us of an expected something approaching. I don't recall the description of what it was. The mood drastically changed. We were turned instantly into a much more serious group. Some of us were nervous. We hurried to gather all of our chairs and relocate them to the more gentle slope of the adjacent hill. We all knew what we were doing as if this was something we had been expecting but had been trying to place far from our minds. We arranged the numerous chairs in a grid much like you would see at a high school graduation. A large rectangle of chairs all facing the same direction. They faced the crest of the long grassed hill with the gentle slope into the valley on the other side. The chairs were almost arranged as the significance of our recently completed meal became apparent to me once more. It was, in essence, a final meal. A meal we all shared with the knowledge that some of us may never see each other again. How had it been so pleasant? Warm thoughts of our recent meal grew cold in unison with the leftovers, and were shaken from me as the dull sound of an army of feet marched closer. The sun had not yet set, but already the night chill began to creep in eagerly to feed upon our growing fear.
The army was nearly over the hill where we once feasted. They too came to feast, but not upon food. All our group formed a line in front of the chairs except for Ryan Barton, (one or two others i can't recall), and myself. We took one last look at the rest of our friends. They were putting their lives on the line to give our small group the chance to fight back. A decoy, and a risky one at that. We could not let them down. As the sun set, the army rose over the top of the feasting hill. Ryan and I dove into the tall grass and began to army crawl over and down the long slope into the valley. Behind the hill, and under the cover of tall grass, trees, and sparse shrubbery; Ryan and I began a long flanking motion to the right rear of the hills. There were some buildings there. They were strange, small, dark and abandoned. They looked as though they had been small medical complexes, or perhaps scientific research facilities. There was snow on the ground here. We met up with a couple other people in one of the small buildings and Ryan uncovered a satchel, reached inside to pull out several imperial blasters (like the ones you would see a stormtrooper carry in star wars). One for each of us. We were scared, but we had a plan. We began to split up and take our posts, but Ryan had changed the plan. I was to go through a different room of the building, and climb through a ventilation shaft to a low roof perch.
I set off on my path and quickly reached the room only to discover the ventilation shaft was not what we thought. It was far too small for me to fit in. I was in a panic. (this part of the dream jumped around a bit) i found a different shaft and made my way to the low roof ledge. It was lower than expected and sparse with cover. Surely the enemy would see me here. I feared for my life, but knew what i must do. (Then the army changed, initially they were kinda like stormtroopers, but not quite, but now they were something different. Darker and scarier. Kinda cyborg like, and the dream took on a sort of post apocalyptic sort of feel.)
The first enemy was in view, and hadn't seen me. I blasted him, but in the process gave away my position. I had no other choice. Soon they were all over and i was blasting them left and right. Nearly getting blasted myself. It sounds really funny now, but it was very scary and intense in the dream, and i really thought i was gonna die. Then some random small squid like thing got on my roof and starting putting it's tentacles all over me and i fought it and cut one of the tentacles off. Suddenly a familiar voice said "Stop!" and it turned out that weird creature was his pet and was kinda acting like a dog jumping all over me. I felt sort of bad i hurt his pet, but not too much cause i was in the middle of a guerrilla war. That kid was on horseback i think. He threw me a new weapon, i don't recall what it was. Then kinda told me things elsewhere were going pretty well. Not great, a few losses, but our plan was working, and then he rode off. I shot some more guys, it was intense, and then i woke up.

The feel of the dream was very cool and the scenery was amazing. Interesting dream.
You tell me what it means, i'm gonna go dream some more.

Minimal Souvenirs: the origin story of my blog (abridged)

This is my blog. It wasn't always here. How did it come to be you ask? Why start a blog? Come closer, and i will whisper a whimsical tale in your ear like a humble hobo. It's the tale of how this blog came to be. Told by the very man who wrought it forth with nimble fingers and able mind. It's abridged, so here we go.

I've known about blogs for quite some time, but i'd never really wanted one. I never really felt i needed one. So why start now? Change is inevitable? Change is probable. What changed? Why am i asking these ridiculous questions?
... I don't know...
Here's what happened in its simplest form. A friend of mine spoke to me of the lure of blogs... and i was intrigued. I had further fictitious conversations with him in my mind concerning blogs, and he spoke of them as if they were drugs. These fictitious conversations amused me slightly in an absurd comical sense, though not enough to be considered for effectuation. I have many of these fictitious mental conversations with various people. They're pretty much a daily occurrence. Call me crazy. No really... Go ahead, get it out of your system... Good? OK. As i was again made aware of the frequency of these strange conversations that i simulate in my mind, it occurred to me that it might be interesting to write about. But where to write it? Ah yes... that brings us full circle. Blog.
I'd like to say that the focus of this blog will be specifically on my mentally simulated conversations, and the effect this mental quirk has on relationships, decision making, sanity, etc. However, i know that won't be the case. I'm sure the end result of this blog will inevitably be just a collection of random thoughts.

So... if you're looking for some insight into the intricacies of my mind, well... this will have to do. Good luck.

Entry 1a

So lately i've been thinking of starting a blog...

speak of the devil.